In reflecting on last week’s interviews I had a couple of thoughts. The idea of freedom and what that means in different cultural contexts keeps coming to me. Women here aren’t free to make choices about their bodies, because of standards that their husbands and mother in laws hold for their bodies and this to me seems like the very antithesis of freedom: someone else making decisions about your body. On the other hand, in the states there is more freedom (in theory) for women to choose what is right for their bodies, but sometimes that choice can paradoxically hold them hostage in a more covert way. Putting chemicals and hormones into your body, for many, change their mood and in the opinions of many of the elders here their body’s general health athere are so many other things that keep us from being free.  People here see life and freedom as a gift and many times we do not even see what holds us down and keeps us from freedom.  The oppressive elements in the states are much more covert, but, still are very present. 

Tuesday, July 12^th

Today was my first interview with the Centro de Ancianos. I had the opportunity to to go to the house of a few elderly women and hear their stories. It was an incredible experience and I feel like it really adds a very intriguing layer to my research.  The first woman we interviewed was 65-year-old Concepcion (I told you… everyone’s name is Concepcion).

Concepcion’s story is beyond shocking. She told us that she was never married, so when she was young she went to live with a family working as a servant.  She told the story about how one day, some robbers entered the house and threatened her boss, the owner of the house. Just as they were about to strike him, he grabbed her and covered himself with her. This resulted in one of the thieves coming down on her arm with a machete and ultimately cutting her arm off.  This is only the beginning of the horror of the way she was treated there in the coming years. From there she said that, because she was weaker and could not defend herself, her boss began to treat her even more horribly than before. He raped her multiple times and one of the times resulted in her getting pregnant.  The boss’s wife, by this time, had figured out what was going on with her husband and the servant girl, so when she began to suspect that her servant was pregnant she blamed her and kicked her out of the house on to the street and threw all of her belongings out on to the street. She realized it before Concepcion herself did.

Concepcion said that she had no idea what being pregnant felt like and she had only noticed that her feet were very swollen and she had a bad headache. This very day that she was thrown out of the house, someone from the street and based on her symptoms brought her to the Centro de Salud (Health Center). When she arrived the doctor, to her surprise, told her that she was going to have a baby and that she was beginning to go into labor. The baby was born later that day with a comadrona and at the birth of her first child was the first that she began to learn about motherhood. Nobody had told her about it before, she admits.

 Concepcion was able to go and live with her brother and his wife, but they were not very understanding to her situation. They forced her to live in a broken sauna (many people owned saunas back in the day) and with only enough food to feed either her or the child.  In order to feed herself and her child, she had to go from house to house, holding the baby with her one good arm, sometimes carrying the baby on her back. Begging for food to feed her child. Soon after, she found work with another family and they gave her some food, but not enough for the child, so she gave it to the child and had no food for herself.  The baby was very ornery and cried a lot and so that people she worked for asked that she not bring the child so she was forced to quit Finally she sought work at a project for children and was able to sustain work there.

At the time she knew that she had a plot of land that was in her name, but her brother refused to give her the land that was rightfully hers, but with collaboration with the organization and a pastor from that organization, they were able to get her land back.

 As the child grew, he became more and more rebellious. He never knew the life of a young person, because he was always helping his mother with her work. He began studies at a university through a government grant, but eventually decided that he did not want to continue studying and so he went to Guatemala City where, according to his mother, he began to hang out with “bad people”. He began to drink a lot and his life began to deteriorate.

Right around this same time, Concepcion’s health began to get worse and worse and at one point it got so bad that she desperately walked to the Centro de Ancianos and on her arrival she fainted in the doorway of the center.  When they took her to the hospital, the doctors confirmed that she had a chronic bone disease and that she she could have died.  When the son found out about the condition of his mother he returned from the city to care for her. She believes firmly that she is only alive today because of the charity of the people in the town.

She had never imagined having a life this difficult, she admits to me, and talking about her life events is hard for her, however she feels that things have really turned around for her since she began going to the elder center. Before she didn’t even have a bed to sleep in and now she has an entire house and a plot of land that her son built. After her son came back to Santiago, he stopped drinking and got married and she feels very grateful for that.

In the dark corner of the room where we were talking, I noticed a young girl, probably under 20-years-old, with a tiny baby in her arms. I introduced myself and she told me that she was the daughter-in-law of Concepcion. I thought this would be a great opportunity to talk with them about how knowledge about birth was passed on in this family.  The daughter-in-law told me that her mother-in-law had taught her everything she knows about birth. She told her that when she stopped getting her period that she was becoming a woman. When she realized that she was pregnant, the mother-in-law told her to take medicine and what to eat and what not to eat. She told her stories about life and told her that she needed to be more careful now that she was pregnant. She explained to her how she needed to care for herself during the pregnancy and how she needed to stop working so as to not hurt the baby. She decided to give birth at the Centro de Salud, because it is more expensive to have a comadrona these days. It seems that it one generation communication about motherhood has increased significantly. Mother’s now tend to see the value of teaching their daughters about motherhood and birth whereas before it was not acceptable or widely practiced to share stories and advice about birth and motherhood.

I am pitifully behind on my beloved blog and so much has happened since I last wrote. I will try to catch you up the best I can without getting into too many details (otherwise you’ll be reading for weeks). Since we last talked, I have begun to talk a lot more with curanderas (traditional healers) and comadronas (traditional birth attendants) in order to get a good feel for the traditions and beliefs surrounding birth and motherhood. Many of these comadronas are also curanderas, which means that they are familiar with herbal remedies for illnesses for children and adults and are very in touch with ancient wisdom about birth and children. One of the more interesting interviews that I have had was with a very well-known comadrona who lives in a nearby aldea called Chacaya. 

Concepcion is a very well-known comadrona throughout Santiago. When you meet her you instantly feel that there is something magical about her. Her energy can be felt when standing in close proximity to her and her aura is that of another world. 

            Concepcion’s story of motherhood is painful. She survived during the civil war, which were many years of unthinkable violence. She tells the story that her three sons were hunting ducks by the lake and someone nearby mistook their gunshots for those of the military, who at the time were killing people all over Guatemala. Out of fear, the person shot back at them and killed all three of them. Her story represents the pain that many women suffer as mothers in Santiago.

            Concepcion knew she would be a comadrona because of the intense dreams she would have about learning to attend births.  She learned everything she knows today about attending births in her dreams, she was never taught by any earthly being.  She mother had died when she was one-year-old and her mother-in-law did not teach her anything about being a mother. She told us that she began to attend births when she was 17-years-old and from then on she was a natural at delivering babies – she has never had a baby die on her watch.  At first it was hard as a young woman to attend births. She told me that when she looked at pregnant women, they would get angry with her, because a young woman looking at a pregnant woman could be bad luck for the mother.  Eventually, though, women started to recognize her and request her presence.

When she became pregnant for the first time, she decided that she did not want anyone else present during her births. She said she wanted to have her children in solitude “just like dogs do when they give birth”, she explained.  Up until her delivery dates, she gave herself the traditional weekly massages and when it came time to deliver she closed herself off from the rest of the world and gave birth alone… well, almost alone. She has a strong faith in God and is certain that God was there with her during the births to help her through – “Solamente Dios”.

In this moment I was overwhelmed by her undying faith in God. Like many people here, she has survived an incredible amount of painful events and continues to feel god’s presence and believe that are just part of his/her plan. I asked myself if I had been through what she has been through if I would be able to believe in anything at all.

To this day, she prefers to attend births without other people around so that the laboring woman will not feel inhibited or embarrassed – she believes this slows down the process.

Concepcion mentioned that birth was very different now than it used to be. Women have a much harder time getting pregnant today. I asked her why she thought that was and she answered that “times have changed, life has changed”. Her belief is that women’s bodies are like the earth. Before, there was no need to put fertilizer on the earth in order to make crops grow, now farmers are forced to put fertilizer in the soil otherwise the crops die. She believes that this is a similar thing that is happening with women’s bodies. She says today that vitamins and vaccines are like the fertilizer for women’s bodies. Before those things were not necessary to get pregnant and have a normal birth, today they are.  The baby is like a seed that is planted in the earth, she says. These statements created a very powerful image for me and I am convinced of the truth in her words, but I feel them slipping away from us… these words, which represent another time and place. In this moment I became more sure of my inclination to document elderly women’s experiences, for many of these things will be lost if we don’t begin to do so. 

I thought that hearing a comadrona’s (traditional birth attendant) perspective would add an important layer of information to my project, so I went to a local clinic in town to seek out Francisca, a very well-known comadrona. We were able to get into talk with Francisca who is a comadrona that works for the clinic, despite her very busy schedule. Francisca sat down with us for a good half hour and gave us very detailed and honest answers to the questions we asked.

She began by talking about the fact that women did not have control of their sexual health and maternal care until fairly recently. Years ago, “nobody was concerned with women’s health issues.” Now with clinics and more educated comadronas, fewer women and children die during the birthing process, she told us.

            One of my biggest interests in talking with Francisca was to ask her about superstitions surrounding birth here in Santiago. She told me that there used to be a lot of superstitious beliefs surrounding birth, now there are less people that believe in this, but it still exists to some degree.

One thing that dictates a lot of superstition for the Mayas is the moon.  It is said that if a baby is born on the day of a full-moon it will be a boy and it will be strong. If the baby is born on a waxing moon, the baby will be a girl and many times, it is said,  they will be weak. Also, the Maya believed and many Tz’ujili people continue to believe that there are hot and cold pregnancies. The elders say that a warm pregnancy is good and a cold pregnancy is bad and that there will be more pain with a cold pregnancy. For this reason, many comadronas work to warm the womb of the woman through massage. In order to find out whether a woman has a hot or cold pregnancy, the comadrona must do what is called an “examen del tacto” or a touch exam, which involves touching various spots on the pregnant woman’s belly to search for signs of heat. Knots on the umbilical chord were once said to predict the number of children that a woman would have, she told us, but most people, including Francisca, do not believe in this anymore.

Francisca also spoke about some of the natural remedies that people use during pregnancy, which are pepper seed, honey, and bitter coffee to speed up the birthing process. Francisca told me that she still uses a lot of the old techniques but has fazed out some other ones. For example, she still uses a faja, which is a tight girdle type garment worn after a woman gives birth to reset the bone structure of the mother and I got the impression that she felt that the belief about the mood dictating birth was, at least to some degree, still relevant.

             In talking about changes in pregnancy that have occurred across generations Francisca cited Preeclampsia, which is a pregnancy condition in which high blood pressure and protein in the urine develop after the 20th week (late 2nd or 3rd trimester) of pregnancy, as being a fairly new disease that has become more and more frequent in pregnant women in the past 10 years. She said that some of the reasons for this increase in cases is due to the intense amount of chemicals that are in the food women consume now. Before, people ate much more natural foods, but now that has begun to change. This is why there are more complications like Preeclampsia now that didn’t exist 10 years ago, she told us.  She commented that even today only 25% of mothers choose to go to the hospital to give births, the majority still choose to give birth at home, and many of these hospital births are due to the necessity for more advanced care due to diseases like Preeclampsia in pregnancy.

One thing she emphasized was the way that the old fashioned customs are being lost, because the younger generations do not have enough respect for these ancient beliefs. She cited that she believes that this is hugely disrespectful toward the Maya culture. “creencias buenas o malas hay que respetar lo que nos ensenan los abuelos.” Whether they are good or bad beliefs, we must respect what the elders teach us, she said.  

 Francisca told me the beautiful story of how she became a comadrona, which also relates to some of the superstitions surrounding birthing practices. She said that her mother was a comadrona and when she was 9-years-old  she began to tell her mother that she wanted to be one as well, but her mom told her that she was too young and that she should focus on other things. Then when she was 11 she had a dream that she was supposed to be a comadrona, this is the typical way a woman decides to become a comadrona here. When this happened, her mother told her that she was being offered a gift and if she was to accept she would do a lot of wonderful things, but she would also suffer a lot. She chose to accept of course and said that she had seen a lot of suffering in her time as a comadrona, but said that it is “la ley que dios nos dejó” It is the law that god left us, referring to us women. She looks at her profession as something she was called upon to do.  Everything that Francisca said she said very soberly and with a flicker of great wisdom in her eyes. I couldn’t help but notice the sadness that remained throughout our conversation that seemed to be grounded deep within her. I imagine that she’s seen many things in the 384 births that she told me she had attended. 

I’m starting to feel like things are really opening up for me. I think I started to put positive energy out in to the universe and now it seems that that energy is what I am getting back.  The shift happened as soon as I moved houses last Tuesday, which doesn’t surprise me. All the negative energy I was cultivating when living with the other family was really affecting all aspects of my experience here. I think, because I feel more settled in that aspect of my life, I am more able to focus my energy on my research and immersing myself in the community and not surprisingly, my research really began to materialize last week.

 I finally went to the Centro de Ancianos (the Elder Center), which is a non-profit organization here whose mission is to serve the elderly population of Santiago , and it seems like it could be relevant to my research to spend some time there.  After talking to Bernobela, the head of the center, I have agreed to volunteer there several days a week and in doing this I will have the opportunity to do home visits with another woman from the shelter and interview the elderly ladies if I wish. I think this will be a great way to  begin to cultivate trusting relationships with this community and an amazing opportunity to be in the presence of the incredible experience and wisdom that these women undoubtedly have.

 When I walked in about 15 elderly women greeted me warmly in Tz’utujil. When they saw me they seemed really happy that I was there and several of them approached me to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Elderly women and men are surprisingly friendly to foreigners and often want to hug, kiss and thank me (for what? I’m not always sure). They seem to really see the value of what we are doing in the community. This is not the case with middle-aged people. 

The more I go about my research, the more, I feel that focusing on the elderly population here is important. Through my interviews I have found that  a lot of traditions that link the population of Santiago to their Maya roots are slipping away, only to be really embraced by the elders of the community.  I have been trying to find out specifically what birthing practices or beliefs have been lost due to the changing culture and it seems that the elders are the only ones that fully embrace the old beliefs. The middle-aged generation seems to embrace some beliefs, but are not familiar with all the customs, and the younger generation doesn’t appear to be familiar with the customs at all.  This is a great opportunity to address the generational gap and attempt to salvage some customs and beliefs surrounding motherhood that are being fazed out as we speak. 

  In talking with an anthropologist who has been in Santiago for years, Vinny, I found out that the generational gap is greater now than it has ever been. He emphasized that huge cultural shifts are taking place right now as we speak. He told me that younger generations are not to talk about what is going on in the new world with the elders, because elderly people are seen as being “from another world”. Because modernity and progress is popular right now, this means that the elders are beginning to be set aside rather than valued for their wisdom. He said that older people used to have more important meaning here, but now people “go to the bible” for ancient wisdom.

Does any of this sound familiar? It’s not a coincidence that things have begun to take a similar path here as in the U.S. American culture is hugely influential here. Because of these dying traditions, Vinny said that some documentation of these beliefs and cultures would be very useful to the community. The goal of my research is to produce something that will be beneficial to the community of Santiago, so I think that this is a great place to start and begin to add the aspect of the generational gap as I go.